I'm a complainer, what can I say.
Despite what happened I still care about you. Does that make me a bad person?
I feel like I got raped last night.
DESPERATE SEEKING TIM CORE!
SO! I was hanging out and Dunkin Donuts, as usual, when Officer Terzian showed up. I thought we were going to get the normal conversational "Please leave" talk. But no. This time, we had an actual conversation. BUT HE WAS LOOKING DOWN MY SHIRT. Who the fuck does that? Oh yeah, Ridgefield Cops. I just want to move to Gunnison Colorado with my brother...
I feel so numb. Everything around me, even the microwave, has more feeling than I do right now. Maybe it's the shock and awe of the hustle and bustle that makes life run. I don't think I can handle it. There's so much to do and so very little time to do it. I just want to go down in fame... that's all.
So I started school again.
We get our own laptops this year, but I feel it's going to be the demise of the school.
20 kids in my school by the way.
We get to sit on couches instead of desks
And we get smoking breaks.
We also get to go where ever we want to for lunch, as long as it's in walking distance of the building.
I go to a pretty sick school.
On another note, there's this kid Nathan who smokes just to try and impress me and it's kinda wierd. He always says he loves me but he's macking it with like 30 other girls. I don't understand men.
I bought a new saddle today.
Someone said I had pretty eyes last night. Actually, alot of people did. Does that mean I have pretty eyes?
I straigtened my hair and made myself look pretty today.
The mirror never lies they say.
Oh what vuluptuous lips she has
And her eyes, they're like an ocean of blue
I wonder what it would be like to touch her skin
The mirror never lies they say.
Car accidents make the world go 'round.
So I smashed into the back of a blue dodge neon and died tonight.
So I re-edited this entire entry. All I wanna know is why I suck so much... that's all...
No matter how many times I hear it, I'll never believe it.
You know how I said I wanted to meet someone totally fucking sweet? Well I changed my mind. I want to meet someone in general. I'm sick of the same old people that I know. As horrible as that sounds, it's so incredibly true. Ridgefield feels like the twilight zone. Everyone's so perfect but behind their veils of honesty and modesty, there's this ugly disfigured array of rainbow carnage. A color for each problem they have. People call me strange for being myself but what's so strange about telling the truth? Yeah I have a few issues, but at least I have the strength to admit it. It's as if telling yourself things arn't OK is a bad thing. Which I never understood. I just want to meet someone real. Are you out there?
I want to meet someone totally fucking sweet
Clay, clay... how I love thee.
Thou doth what I ask of thee.
Clay works in such mysterious ways. I am it's master and it is my pallet of imagination. I can mold and spin what ever I want out of it. I am in total control of clay. Finally, something I feel I have complete control over. I wish life was like clay. I wish it wasn't so hard to minipulate.
It's thundering.
I remember a time when our lives burned like something close to electric lightning.
Words from Kevin Spacey himself.
From a movie much like me.
United States of Leland.
United States of Colleen.
You can say what you have to say
Cause my mind's made up anyway
I'm takin' the high road, goin' above you
This is the last time that I'm gunna trust you
You can say what you have to say
Cause my mind's made up anyway
All that bullshit you talk might work alot
But it's not gunna work today
I feel that is relevant to who I am that I had to post it.
car
